Public Toilets in Italy

It might not be the most polite topic of conversation, but being caught short in Italy without a plan can be quite the ordeal for the uninitiated. Many of the emergency strategies that exist at home are not options here. And so to prevent any discomfort (or much worse in dire cases), here is my guide to public toileting in Italy.

The classic standalone brick toilet block isn't really a thing here. While they may be a welcome oasis when the urge to powder your nose becomes too strong to ignore, they are otherwise generally an eyesore. I can understand why the Italians aren't very keen to pollute their environment with them. So if you are in a park or an open area, looking for the typical toilet hut will bring you no joy.

The fallback option (when an actual public convenience is not within sight) is usually to sneak into a nearby restaurant or cafe and use their toilet. In Italy, this is strongly inadvisable if you are not a paying customer. You will almost certainly be stopped and loudly told off. The experience will be alarmingly reminiscent of a primary school scolding from your teacher. Complete with the other students snickering behind their hands. 

So let's talk about what options are available and the things you need to know to successfully complete your mission.

Public Toilets

Despite what I said above, these do exist. However they are usually tucked into backstreets or at the very farthest corner of a train station. There will be minimal-to-no signage. You often just have to wander around in increasing panic until you finally spot a minuscule blue sign with the letters WC on it. Do not go searching for one if your train leaves within 10 minutes, as you will miss it. Most trains have toilets on board anyway.

Once you locate the public restroom, you will need to pay to access it. Like the price of a cappuccino, inflation seems not to exist in the world of the public water closet. One euro has been the price of admission for at least the last 15 years. Happy days. However, unlike the consistency of cappuccino quality in Italy, the service you receive for your euro will vary wildly from location to location. Some will be spotless and smell so strongly of bleach that your eyes will sting, while others will be like a portaloo after a music festival. There may be automated gates with contactless payment options, or it may be a small desk with a wooden bowl into which you drop your euro coin under the watchful eye of the attendant. 

Once you are inside, head to one of the cubicles. Here begins the next phase of the adventure. 

If you are lucky, the cubicle will be relatively well lit and stocked with toilet paper. A word of warning though that neither of these are to be taken as given. Prepare accordingly. I highly recommend packing a small packet of tissues each morning for your day out. I also recommend taking a quick mental map of the cubicle before you shut the door to prevent any panics once you're locked in. Where is the lock? Where is the toilet paper? Is there a hook to hang my bag? And so on.

There is a reason that Italians are all generally quite healthy and in good physical condition. There is a lot of incidental daily activity that doesn't exist in many other countries. The number of stairs everywhere, the reliance on bikes for transport ... and toilets that require some form of hovering or squatting to use. Great for balance and quad strength.

Mercifully, the dreaded hole-in-the-floor squat toilet seems to be being phased out across the country. These are far less frequently encountered than they were a decade or two ago. The upside of this is that you're less likely to have to use one. The downside is that when you do, it seems like everyone has forgotten how.

There is an art to the successful use of a squat toilet, and anything less than perfect technique can inflict dire consequences on both you and any subsequent users. All the ones I've seen recently are crime scenes. Avoid at all costs.

Even when you do find a standard upright toilet, there's almost never a seat attached. Just the porcelain bowl. This can be confronting if you're not used to it. It is puckeringly cold. It is uncomfortable to try to sit on. Any splashes are far more likely to make unwelcome impact. I highly recommend hovering, if at all possible. Train up to it in the weeks before your trip if needs be. A few minutes of a wall sit, a couple of times a day ought to do it. Take solace in the knowledge that the extra strength will do wonders for your general health and mobility. 

Now that you've completed your necessary evacuations, you need to flush. There's probably not a visible cistern with a button on top, so instead look for a big button on the wall - it may be some distance from the toilet itself, or failing that a metal pedal on the floor. If there is a string hanging from the roof, don't pull it. This is the emergency assistance bell and you risk being barged in upon. No thank you.

Same advice goes for the taps at the sink. If you can't see a way to turn them on (and they aren't controlled by a sensor) take a look at the floor. There are often two pedals, a red and a blue for hot and cold. Stepping on one will start the flow of water. It's actually much better than washing your hands and then immediately germing them back up again by turning off the same tap you just turned on. Don't expect paper hand towels or a dryer and you won't be disappointed. That tissue packet you packed will come in handy again. 

Cafe Toilets

With all the perils of public toilets described above, my recommendation would be to find an alternative. Coffee bars are an excellent option as they are everywhere and by law must have a toilet for customers. The catch of course is that you must actually be a customer.

My tolerance for coffee, which was already very robust before we came to Italy, is now through the roof. This is because every time I, or one of my dear bambini, decide a trip to the loo is unavoidable I buy un caffè (a shot of espresso) in order to qualify. I'll toss this down in one hot gulp and then ask dov'è il bagno (where is the toilet)? It's usually at the back of the shop, tucked in behind the bar. Again, the quality and set up varies wildly from place to place, but it's safe to assume that it will be very snug. I would also not assume that there is any soundproofing between you and the other patrons of the establishment. But, it is never a squat toilet and the price of entry is the same at one euro (give or take) for the espresso, so generally a better bet than the public WC. 

Of course, constantly drinking shots of coffee to use the toilet creates a vicious positive feedback loop. After your third one I'd probably just call it a day and go home. Or possibly to the nearest hospital to seek treatment for heart palpitations. 

Good luck and happy toileting!